Cutie Patootie Summer

This summer is all about cutie patootie - twee basic girl - undone hair - cheap marc jacobs dresses and unzipped bags - yesterday's makeup . I dont need to talk about the news when im blogging about style, but it really is about embracing nihilism. Addison Rae. Pilates. A pornstar i adore said exercising every day was the closest she's come to a lobotomy - in positive, memetic kind of way. I mean a meme not a trend but i guess its both. Pilates is an instagram exercise until you try it irl. I go to a place with a vague “witch” theme that has cobwebs in the corner. They blast galaxy lights and top 40 while we adjust our springs and shove little weights above our heads. Lorde. Charli. Addison. Street dudes like to watch from the window as if its their own personal feed. But this place is better than the insta ones - inclusive - safe for big people not just the skinny eaters who choose salad over burgers or whatever. Im naturally thin so i cant say fat but i still get excited when i meet a woman who eats. Like the other day an esthetician scrubbed my pocked face and we talked about sandwiches instead of bowls because i'll never be that girl. Life is too short to read the news or brush your hair or worry about your flight out of newark crashing - can you tell what's on my mind? absolutely nothing. I wish i could count the number of emails i sent today - enough to make me dumb and numb and accomplished. My therapist said to take care of my little girl. My therapist said to make boundaries. I think she would like my new little marc jacobs dress. The time i took to lotion my legs with cream that costs more than my trader joes orchid and smells like a barbie dream home. I dont want to be like everyone else. i want to be a liberated doll. Empty. Soft. Free.