Too Retro, Perhaps

Last Friday, I got my nails done like a photo I found on Pinterest. Long square talons in metallic hot pink, a splash of sparkly purple bordered by golden accents splayed across each tip. Candy, my nail tech, obliged although she didn’t seem to like the design. Too retro, perhaps.

“I wanted something super eighties,” I told an artist/It girl outside of a Miu Miu event later that day. “Thank God you’re wearing black,” she replied, making no effort to hide her revulsion. “I can’t get my nails done otherwise people won’t take me seriously as a painter,” she continued in an attempt to make me feel better. I remembered a rumor that her work was produced in China, so I agreed even though I didn’t. This is why one makes such outrageous choices in the first place, I thought. Style is how you want to present yourself, but sometimes it’s better to generate confusion, especially if people are already being snarky about your look (or work). After all, gossip sells.

Unfortunately I couldn’t report on Spring style at the event on Friday, or at the cocktail dinner afterwards, because everyone was wearing current season Miu Miu or some approximation of it. One exception was Washington Post critic Rachel Tashjian, who donned an extremely tall turban instead. Later that evening at Montez Press Radio, I watched a Frenchman in a jester hat screech into an auto-tuned microphone. I thought of my friend Lyas, another Frenchman and fellow fashion person who loves silly hats and favors being punk over fitting in. The show continued. “Tell me all the reasons why you wanna be a rockstaaar!”

The next morning, I opened Instagram and scrolled through my stories. More Miu Miu. I get a notification. The painter had posted a picture of my nails, cigarette in hand. I guess my talons weren’t so offensive after all.